“Those are good words,” she told me.
That phrase stuck with me.
I was having a conversation with one of my daughters about a chat she hoped to have with her boss. I suggested a way she might frame the discussion, and she responded, “Those are good words.” She meant that my phrasing captured the essence of what she wanted to say in a way that felt natural, clear, and effective.
The power of the right word
This is where AI tools like ChatGPT come in. Properly used, they help refine language by offering subtle variations to align the right words and phrases with your intent.
Words don’t have a single meaning. They exist in a kind of cloud, with some ideas at the center and others on the edges. They also can convey different emotions in different contexts. The choice can make all the difference in the world, so when I’m working on a sentence that’s close — but not exactly right — I use ChatGPT to tighten it up.
Sometimes (not often) I only have a general idea of what I want to say. I might write a prompt along these lines.
“I’m looking for a phrase that’s analogous to ‘perfect is the enemy of done’ but for politics. Can you give me a few ideas?”
ChatGPT will make a few suggestions, and I might go back and forth with it a few times until I feel I’ve got it right. (In this case I settled on “Ideological purity is the enemy of political progress.”)
LLMs like ChatGPT work by analyzing how words relate to each other in different contexts. They recognize that “king” and “queen” share similarities in some respects and distinctions in other, just as “efficient” and “effective” do.
I can take a sentence I’ve drafted, put it into ChatGPT, and say: “This is almost what I want to say, but I really want to emphasize [a particular nuance]. Can you help me refine it?”
ChatGPT will provide alternate phrasings that help me get closer to exactly what I mean.
Practical uses for finding the right words
There are plenty of business and personal applications where subtle shifts in phrasing can make a big difference:
- Professional Conversations – When applying for a job, working through a difficult HR issue, negotiating a raise, or giving feedback to a subordinate, the right wording can shape the tone and outcome of the conversation. You can’t stop in the middle of a meeting and say, “Excuse me while I check with ChatGPT about this,” but you can plan ahead and come up with a few ideas of words and phrases to use and others to avoid.
- Email Subject Lines – You don’t have many words to spare, so you want to make sure you convey the right message efficiently.
A word of caution: ChatGPT doesn’t have real-world performance data on subject lines. It can suggest variations, but it can’t tell you which one will actually perform better. (Note that I said “can’t” not “won’t.” You can probably convince it to give you such a judgment. Just don’t believe it.)
- Marketing and Branding – You can use ChatGPT to get ideas for a tagline, an elevator pitch, or any situation where you only have a few words and they have to convey just the right message.
- Personal Relationships – It may seem strange to use a computer to figure out how to talk to a friend, but sometimes we show that we care by thinking and planning ahead. If you’re about to have a difficult conversation, it doesn’t hurt to get ideas.
I’m not suggesting that you allow ChatGPT to be the final arbiter in any of these situations. They’re your words. You have to be comfortable with them.
Think of using ChatGPT this way like using an upgraded thesaurus.
Why this works
Language is full of shades of meaning. Sometimes, two sentences can seem to say the same thing but feel very different. Which one is better: “I understand” or “I hear you”? The difference is subtle but can be meaningful.
When you’re not sure, ask. It’s “chat”GPT, after all. People obsess too much about getting their prompts perfectly correct. It’s okay to say, “No, that’s not quite what I meant. I’m looking for ____.” And when you’re not sure about two choices, ask for an explanation. E.g.,
“Please elaborate on how people might react to ‘I understand’ versus ‘I hear you.'”
Remember Captain Kirk
“Everything I need to know in life I learned from Star Trek” isn’t quite true, but it’s close. Kirk gives us a good example about asking for advice.
In “Dagger of the Mind,” Captain Kirk asks Dr. Helen Noel for advice about the Neural Neutralizer — the hideous invention of Dr. Tristan Adams to reform convicts. Kirk doesn’t take Noel’s advice, and she complains. Kirk says, “One of the advantages of being a captain, Doctor, is being able to ask for advice without necessarily having to take it.”
You don’t have to take ChatGPT’s advice.
You’re the Captain. Get good advice, then make up your own mind.
P.S. — About subject lines … since I mentioned it … you want to keep to 30 to 50 characters, or four to seven words.
