How to overcome imposter syndrome

Imposter
Summary: How can you tell whether you have “imposter syndrome” or whether you actually are inflating your abilities and accomplishments? The answer is to get objective and external validation.

I frequently hear concern about “imposter syndrome.” My general reaction is that “imposter syndrome” is actually your conscience telling you that you’re not “all that.” Although I’ll admit it is a little more complicated.

After reading plenty of LinkedIn profiles, it seems quite likely that most people are, in fact, not everything they pretend to be. Maybe they could do with a little self doubt. Maybe people should spend some time studying the “disappointing affirmations” thread on Instagram.

Then one of my inner interlocutors kicks in, and he asks if this is a personality thing. Are some people more likely to doubt themselves while others are more likely to have an inflated view of themselves?

To ask the question is to answer it. That’s obviously true.

Three personality traits seem to be implicated here: neuroticism, extraversion, and narcissism.

Neuroticism is associated with emotional sensitivity, moodiness, and a tendency towards anxiety, self-doubt, and negative emotional experiences. That seems to track with imposter syndrome. If you’re high in neuroticism, you probably experience imposter syndrome.

Extraverts tend to be assertive, enthusiastic, and enjoy being the center of attention. Extraversion is negatively correlated with imposter syndrome. So if you’re an extrovert and think you have imposter syndrome … it probably means you’re genuinely terrible at the thing you’re worried about.

The same with narcissists, who have an inflated sense of self-importance, a high opinion of their own abilities, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. If you’re a narcissist and you think you have imposter syndrome, no. It’s not some syndrome. You’re just awful.

So here’s the rule. If you’re an extrovert or a narcissist, you don’t have imposter syndrome. You are overestimating your ability. The only people who need to be “cured” of imposter syndrome are people who are high in neuroticism.

Here are some practical tests to decide whether your “imposter syndrome” is justified or not.

  • Get feedback from people who know your work and your talents, such as managers or colleagues, and not your mother.
  • Review your past achievements with a skeptical eye. Have you consistently met or exceeded expectations? Try to use objective metrics to counteract your anxiety.
  • You might get an objective read on your abilities if you can take a skill or knowledge test that applies to the area in which you have doubt.
  • Try teaching the subject to someone who knows nothing about it. If you can do that, without resorting to jargon and inside baseball nonsense, you genuinely understand the topic.
  • Create a real-world test. For example, to test whether you’re actually good at writing email sales copy, your copy should consistently win in A/B split tests.

There are two other things to consider. The first is culture.

I recall listening to a Scottish theologian who said that his celtic soul and his mother would both condemn him for mentioning his new book. Self-promotion is frowned upon in some cultures. You’re supposed to downplay your own accomplishments. It’s unseemly and embarrassing to praise yourself, or even to be praised.

I picked up some of this myself from my mother. I’m uncomfortable with promoting myself.

This is similar to but separate from imposter syndrome. Modesty is a choice or a cultural trait. Imposter syndrome is self-doubt about your abilities.

The second thing to consider is false humility. Humility doesn’t mean saying you’re rotten at something that you’re good at. In a funny way, that’s actually a form of pride.

Here’s a weird example of that. Moses wrote of himself that he was the most humble man on earth, which stretches our conception of what humility means. Humility doesn’t mean beating up on yourself. It means, at least in part, having an accurate view of your own abilities.

That, I think, is the real solution. There’s a proverb that says “let another praise you and not your own mouth.” That’s good manners, of course, but more than that, external validation can act as a check on whether you’re really good at something, or whether you’re an imposter.

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