Am I the only one? I need some feedback on this one, folks
Today’s podcast will sound autobiographical, but please work with me here. I don’t intend it to be. It’s really not about me.
But I have to start the story with me.
I often feel like the odd man out, and I’m not sure if that’s really true, or if lots of other people feel the same way and are just going along to be polite.
Here are a couple examples.
I hate it when I’m at an event and somebody tries to get the crowd excited – based on nothing other than getting excited. I’ll get excited when you’ve given me a reason, but the guy who stands up front and says “are you excited yet” feels like …. How do I explain this? It’s like somebody’s dirty, slimy hands are searching my insides, trying to find my emotions and squeeze them. I resent it, and it’s creepy.
But a lot of other people seem to be just fine with it. Now – are they really fine with it, or are they just playing along because that’s what’s expected of them?
Another example. I love food and drink as much as the next guy. At least I think I do. I’m somewhat of an expert on craft beers, and I’m a pretty good cook. I just can’t get all excited about food. I enjoy good food. I can tell a good brisket from an average one, and I like some wines a lot better than others. But I would never say about food – any food – that “it’s to die for,” or “you simply have to go here.” It’s not that big of a deal.
A common theme is emerging. My excitement meter is on a very different scale than what I see around me.
Here’s why this isn’t about me.
A lot of marketing and sales assumes this whole “get excited” vibe, like getting people to love your brand, and all that other icky stuff. That approach clearly registers with some people. Like people in sales and marketing. But does it register with the public at large? Are they simply going along with it, because that’s what people do, but secretly they’re resenting it?
Here’s some possible evidence that other people dislike this stuff too.
- There’s something called “Social Desirability Bias.” It’s a tendency to answer a question or to behave in a way that is more likely to make you fit in. In other words, you’re being sociable and trying to act in a culturally appropriate way, which is a good thing, as a general rule, but it also means that just because a lot of people go along with something doesn’t mean they like it.
- There are introverts and extroverts out there – apparently in about equal numbers – and it’s the extroverts who are pushing this “get excited” stuff, making fully half of your audience get the heebie jeebies.
- Studies show a growing preference for authenticity and consumer skepticism toward brands that seem overly promotional or emotionally manipulative.
There are points against what I’m saying. Some people like that high-energy stuff. There are self-selected groups – I guess they’re all extroverts – who relish it.
In some cases, high energy is part of the culture. It’s an expected part of the experience – like being at a Pentecostal church service, or a political rally.
Finally, excitement and urgency can drive sales, … or so I’m told … it doesn’t work with me … so if you’re willing to seem a little creepy and inauthentic to get the sale, there you go.
What’s the bottom line here?
First, just because something works at the Amway sales event doesn’t mean it’s appropriate for your conference on electric utility regulations. Maybe something to consider is whether your audience has been selected because of their personality or because they share a common interest?
Second, did you get permission to yell at people? Did you warn them that you were going to put your slimy hands inside and try to find the “get excited” button? It seems appropriate. You don’t invite your quiet aunt to the tent revival meeting without warning her what she’s facing.
Third, is extroversion a necessary part of your sales process? Adam Grant at the University of Pennsylvania has found that “ambiverts” – people with both extroverted and introverted traits – outperform both extroverts and introverts. To everything there is a season. Maybe there are times to dial it up and times not to.
As I said at the beginning here, I’d like your feedback on this. How does what I’m saying make you feel? Comforted? Threatened? Or do you just think I’m weird?
